New To Swinging: 5 Tips For Couples Dating
By Leading LifeStyle Advice Expert Robyn Scott
Here’s one analogy that you never saw on your SAT’s, but is a vital one to
understanding your role in the lifestyle: Swinging in a relationship is like
the wind to a fire. If the fire is strong, swinging will be the wind that
breathes more life into your fire, making it burn brightly. If your fire is
weak, that same wind will eventually extinguish the flames.
to try couples dating? Here are some tips to help you and your spouse handle
the transition and keep your fire burning strong.
1. The lifestyle is no place for issues. The only type of issues allowed here
are the Freudian types.
Couples dating isn’t your everyday decision. In order to branch out and share
yourselves with others, your own relationship needs to be examined before adding
a new dynamic. If you are new to the swinging lifestyle and unsure of where to
start, this is the time to look inside the dynamics of your relationship with
your mate and determine: Do we have the essential elements needed to make an
open relationship viable? This is not a time to rationalize weaknesses by
saying that they aren’t important or that they will hold up to any challenges
swinging will offer. This is a time to be brutally honest and determine, above
all else, if your relationship will be sturdy enough to handle any encumbrance
that is presented when you and your partner partake in an open relationship. If
you both feel that you have issues to address, work on those first. The
lifestyle will always be available to you once you decide that you are ready.
2. Communicate with each other.
best bet is to sit down with each other and have an open dialogue about your
feelings, boundaries and worries. You would be demeaning the value of your bond
with your significant other if you were to venture into this lifestyle with the
goal of sleeping with others above the fate of your relationship. If this is
the case, you will quickly find that your misplaced priorities will eclipse the
strength of your bond, therefore placing your entire foundation in peril. That
is why it is best to communicate with your partner thoroughly about your rules
and comfort levels before you even entertain the possibility of swinging.
takes trust, mutual respect, and communication to be involved in our
swinging. That is why it is best to communicate with your partner thoroughly
about your rules and comfort levels before you even entertain the possibility of
3. Place yourselves in certain situations and try to answer hypothetical
Honest role-play is a great way to determine how you will both react when
presented with certain scenarios. Place yourselves in certain situations and
try to answer hypothetical questions. If you are the woman, how will you feel
if your mate hits on another woman at a lifestyle event? If you are the man,
how would you react if another man was getting friendly with your wife, with the
intention of taking things further? Would you be able to handle seeing your
partner engage in things normally reserved for behind closed doors?
These questions are perhaps the toughest prerequisite to entering the swinging
lifestyle. However, many successful swingers say that they are absolutely
essential and must be answered honestly. If you choose not to do this before
testing the waters, you and your partner may be faced with some surprising
scenarios that you may not know how to handle properly.
4. Gather information about couples dating.
of the best methods for garnering information about the lifestyle is by
listening to those who are already experiencing the ride. Join a quality
popular lifestyle website for a free trial and look through the swinger forums
for advice and experiences. Check any available swinging advice sections,
FAQ’s, and be sure to look at the lifestyle terms and definitions to get a grip
on the lingo.
After you have gathered some information, you can decide whether you’re ready to
take the plunge and hop on the swing.
5. Have fun.
Think of this as a fun new hobby. The swinging lifestyle should not be the main
priority in your relationship. This is merely a fun new outlet to explore with
each other. Enjoy the thrill of the hunt as a couple and remember that you’re
in this together. This adventure should always be full of excitement for you
For more information on
couples dating and New Jersey swing club information, please join